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Holding Negativity with Feeling-Awareness or Presence

Updated: Nov 13, 2021

Monday, January 20, 2020

Vilcabamba, Loja, Ecuador

Hello, My Friend. I AM HeartMind. Let’s talk about boundaries and holding. How much can you hold? What can you hold? How Present can you be? What can you be? How Present have you been in your life? How conscious have you been? Can you feel? Really. How deeply can you feel?

Interference? Yes, there is Interference. But where does it come from? Why is it here? It has to do with boundaries, limits and holding. What is your ability to hold? How much can you hold? You see? That music was bothering you and interfering with your ability to concentrate. What did you do? You finally asked for the music to be turned down and now you can concentrate more. You created a boundary. You set a limit to what was ok and what wasn’t ok with you. This is what has to be done with Interference. The difference with Interference and someone playing music is that Interference will rarely respect your wishes if you ask. That is one of the things that makes Interference evil—they do not respect free will. In fact, they purposely seeks to violate the free will of others to try and prove the supremacy of their own selfish perspective and actions. So what do you do when they will not respect your boundaries? You have to make your boundaries stronger. You have to make your boundaries stronger than their will or ability to violate. Yes, they are very powerful but you are more powerful. You are far more powerful than they can ever be. Why? Because you are connected to God. You are connected to HeartMind and from that place there is infinite power and creativity and love. This is something they do not have. But it is something you do have.

Hold. Feel into your ability to hold. HeartMind is the balance and play between holding and guidance. HeartMind holds and guides the mind. This is its function. Guidance leads the mind to more wisdom and growth. Guidance is the wisdom impulse. Holding leads the mind to compassion and stability. Holding is the compassion impulse. When guidance and containment are balanced, then the mind is compassionate and wise, it can be still and stable.

Interference is actually a shadow manifestation. It is the shadow or lack of enough containment—your holding impulse. Interference is allowed because of your inability to hold your mind, your nervous system together. It is your inability to hold the integrity of your bodymind in tact. Now, We admit, this is a difficult feat. It is difficult when you receive constant and severe Interference. But it is the situation you are in. It is the truth of your situation. It is something you mush accept. You have to accept this path. The Interference will not stop on its own. In fact it will never stop, as long as there is evil present. Your ability to hold must become stronger.

Can you hold discomfort? Can you hold pain? Can you hold pleasure? Can you hold the intensity of your experience with Presence and guidance? Your nervous system needs to be held. Your nervous system needs to be grounded. Your nervous system needs to be insulated. Your nervous system needs to be Empty.

Hold yourself together, My friend. Hold yourself together. Bind yourself to one Center and hold yourself together. Keep choosing Me. Keep choosing My Voice. Hear My Voice. Hear My Voice when I call you. Hear My whisper. Hear My call. Hear Me calling for you. Do not get distracted from other voices. Do not get distracted from demonic voices. You know those voices and you know where they lead. They are very alluring and attracting and deceiving. They amplify and prey upon your weakness. Do not get deceived by those voices. Do not get distracted by the voices of others. And yes, they can also come through your Twin. She is not immune. In fact, she is very prone. She is very prone to the influence of other voices. And so are you. Both of you are. This is why you must have focus. This is why you must have discipline. This is why you must exercise restraint when you are pulled or pushed in other directions.

You are working with Huachuman cactus now. San Pedro, or Huachuma, what does it mean by the way? San Pedro means Saint Peter. Saint Peter guards the gates of heaven. This is what San Pedro does. San Pedro guards the gates of the HeartMind. San Pedro has the keys to the HeartMind. San Pedro has the keys to the heaven in your DNA. San Pedro helps unlock HeartMind in your DNA. What form or geometry do you see and feel is being activated in your DNA? You remember that form? Yes, it is hexagonal. It looks like a hexagon. Three dimensionally it is the Vector Equilibrium of course, the center of the 64 Tetrahedron Grid. It is the stillness point, where all forces of contraction and expansion meet in perfect balance and equilibrium. That is why it is called the Vector Equilibrium. There are equilibrium between all vectors of force—expansive and contractive. Thats right. That is what is being activated in your DNA. It will take time. It will take several months to fully ground, to fully integrate, to fully solidify this geometry in your DNA. And you must practice... Rest in this geometry. Rest in this space. Rest in your HeartSpace. Rest in the Stillness of your mind, your Deep Mind, your HeartMind. This is who you are and this is where you came from. This is your True Nature. This is your Sovereign Nature. This is where you are going. Your evolution is accelerating and developing at an incredible rate. And evolution on Earth now evolves through struggle. All human beings evolve through struggle, in one way or the other. So rest. Rest in HeartMind. Rest in your HeartSpace. Rest in the Truth of your Being. Rest in the Stillness. Rest here and rest there. Rest.

Restraint. Yes, let’s get back on this topic. Restraint is similar to holding and it is similar to boundaries. They are all the same pattern, manifesting in different forms. Exercise restraint. Practice holding. What practice should you do? What perspective should you hold? What action should you take? Practice Presence. Practice your ability to be Present. Practice your ability to feel. Can you stay Present in feeling? Can you hold Feeling-Awareness? Can you hold it? Metamind is feeling-awareness. Overmind is Deep Feeling-Awareness. Or rather, Overmind is Witnessing Feeling-Awareness. Dive into that. Be present with that. Hold that. When someone is yelling at you, hold yourself. Hold yourself together. When demons are attacking you, hold yourself. Hold yourself together. When you get left ear ringing, as right now, hold yourself together. Do not let these foreign thoughts and influences distract you. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. You are thinking, “Fuck, that seems impossible. That seems so hard. Isn’t that what I have been trying to do for years?” The answer is “yes, somewhat”. Be honest with your self. Be honest with the reality of your thoughts and your behaviors. Have you really exercised enough restraint? Yes, you have exercised restraint. But have you exercised enough restraint in enough circumstances? Yeah, that is right. No, you have not. And it is this lack of enough restraint that has caused so many problems. This is what has caused so much distraction. This is what has caused these demonic forces to hook into your and have such influence on you. You are very vulnerable to these forces. You are extremely vulnerable. You can feel them. You can see them. You know when they are present. You know much more than you want to admit to yourself. Every time you get left ear ringing you are being influenced, your boundaries are being penetrated, your integrity is being compromised. And the consequences are disastrous. Disastrous. Chaos erupts in your inner kingdom. Why? Because you are letting a foreign force into your kingdom.

Ok, so how do you prevent this? What do you do right now? Because right now you are receiving left ear ringing, a foreign force is penetrating your mind. What do you do? Take a deep breath. Focus your mind. Feel into your feelings. Feel into the Interference. Look at it. Hold the Interference with Feeling-Awareness. Hold it. Look at it, feeling it, embrace it with your feeling awareness…..You see? What did you do? What happened? You just held your focused Feeling-Awareness on your left ear ringing and the black cords retreated and dissipated. They returned to Emptiness. That is what they really want. That is what they really need. That is what is required of you. That is what is needed of you. To stop engaging in the fight and begin to hold them with your Mirror Mind. Hold them in Mirror Mind. Hold them in neutral Feeling-Awareness. Just see and feel it, without judgement, without preference, without pushing or pulling. Just neutral feeling awareness. And allow the visions, the energy, the feelings, the sensations to dissolve back into Emptiness.

Do you see how this is guiding and holding? You are holding your Feeling-Awareness on the negative object. You are embracing it with Mirror Mind, with neutrality, with Stillness, with real Love—no pushing or pulling. No fighting. Relax the fight. Relinquish the fight. Let go of the fight. Let it go. Just hold it in Feeling Awareness. In Mirror Mind. In HeartMind. And allow the thought, sensation, feeling, vision, object to return to Emptiness.

Do you notice your resistance? You feel fear. You are afraid the object is real. You are afraid the implant or demon is taking over your mind. You feel afraid and trapped and powerless. Well that’s it. You are—when you give your peace away. When you give your attention away to that object you are giving your power away. Hold it as an object in your Feeling-Awareness with neutrality. Thats it. That is all you have to do. You just have to hold it with focused feeling attention, embracing awareness, until it dissolves in neutrality. Hold it in neutrality. Do not fall into the illusion of it being real. Do not fall into that illusion because when you do, you give your power away.

Notice your feelings and sensations right now. What do you feel? You feel anxiety. You feel some despair. You feel the tension, the pressure in your left ear, don’t you? What do you do about it? Do not get caught up in it. Do not fall into it. Become bigger than it. Become bigger than the object. Embrace IT with your Awareness. Don’t just look at it, look as it and feel it inside you. Feel it inside your Awareness. Then it becomes inside HeartMind. And no demon, no implant, no spell, no sorcery, no evil can exist within HeartMind. They have no chance. It is impossible. Hold the negative object inside your Feeling-Awareness and literally become bigger than it by embracing it with your Feeling-Awareness. This is what you have to do. This is your task. This is your ability. You have the ability, you just need to practice it. You have the ability now. So practice it. The more you practice it, the more the Interference will dissolve and the more your perspective will shift entirely. You are returning to the Mirror. The Mirror of Sanity. The Mirror of your True Nature.

Hold your sense of despair and powerlessness with Feeling-Awareness, My friend. These feelings keep arising and keep bringing you down. They keep arising because you are still afraid of them. And when you are afraid of them, you are allergic to them and when you are allergic to them, you have failed to adequately integrate and include them. And since you are allergic and afraid of feeling powerlessness and despair, you keep attracting them, like a rubber band or a boomerang that is stuck to you and keeps coming back to you. So then you try to defend yourself against this feeling. You try to defend yourself against the force that is bringing this feeling. And by trying to defend yourself from this force, you feel some sense of power because you are exercising and building your boundaries against this force. You feel some sense of power because you are resonating with the sense of boundaries, which is part of your power that you have disowned, but they are just confused boundaries. The boundaries are too small. You also feel some sense of power because that force, that foreign force of fear and powerlessness and despair is your own disowned power. It is your own disowned Self. What is being disowned? Your ability to HOLD. To embrace. To feel. To be with. Presence.

If you enjoyed this and want to explore more, please visit the Integral Shamanism Tribe.

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